A journalist acquaintance recently tore my writing to shreds. The depth of his disdain was inspiring, if I’m honest.

“It’s lazy writing, Trevor” he said, “Way too many adverbs. Zero respect for your readers.” He then went on to describe my prose as “insignificant.” Sick burn, bro.

Now, this guy’s a garden-variety asshole, so I take his critique with multiple grains of salt. But I do concede his having a point, albeit a heavy-handed one. I’m not the most economical writer, and embracing the "write how you talk” ethos means I sound like a douche a whole lot. 

That said, fucking RELAX. What’s wrong with modest self-indulgence and, god forbid, having a little fun? For example, the man is impotent is a perfectly serviceable phrase. The pertinent info’s easily digestible (poor bastard), and the reader’s allowed to fill in the narrative, thereby actively participating in the story. A-plus stuff.

But, how about this:

The man is ludicrously impotent

Is "ludicrously" necessary? I suppose not, but goddammit I love the mental image of this poor jackass staring down at his nether regions, shaking his fists at the sky and crying out, “Not again! THIS IS LUDICROUS!” 

Or, maybe:

The man is heroically impotent

Your imagination’s running wild, isn’t it?

I don’t really have a point, I realize, other than let’s all have fun - with music, language, and being generally decent SOBs. The cup is red, the sky is blue, and for the love of god let impotency be ludicrous.